I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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