i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
