remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
