i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks