Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here