and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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