I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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