Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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