No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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