so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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