I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
