We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
