I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
