Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
