i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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