They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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