Umm I'm too high to move.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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