He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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