I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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