it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
