You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
