Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
