You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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