I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
