I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
