Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
