Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Randomize