i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
