I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dick very happy bro
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
