So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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