The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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