uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
