She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
