I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
