Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
