You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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