Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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