No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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