u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
