How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
