Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
