its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
