I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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