If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
