Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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