As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
