Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
