my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
