I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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