his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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