Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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