I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize