under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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