Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
