so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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