he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
