Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize