I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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