i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize