alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
