well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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