so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Even my vagina gasped.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
