so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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